Top Ten Ways to Talk to Your Kids
It used to be, when many of us were kids, that The Talk meant only one thing. Now, we Talk with our kids a lot more, and one of the topics needs to be about their safety and security on the Internet. As technology evolves, and it evolves quickly, many parents feel left behind. For them, it's an unfortunate rite of passage. But you're different; you're going to break the pattern (hey, that's why you're here). So when you have the Internet Talk, there are a few timeless rules of engagement to remember, and some practical tips to help you both through the discussion.
- 10. Start now. It is never too late or early to begin.
- 9. Make the effort. It is not up to your kid to talk to you.
- 8. Be open-minded. They must feel comfortable talking to you about everything.
- 7. Let them know where you stand. Your actions and beliefs set the tone for them.
- 6. Listen. Conversation does not mean only you talk.
- 5. Tell the truth. You want it from them.
- 4. Have patience. Enough said.
- 3. Don't set a specific time to talk. Just do it.
- 2. Use ordinary situations to make conversation. Anytime is a good time.
- 1. Talk everyday. It becomes easier the more you do it.
Relating to Your Teen
There are five basic areas that you will want to talk to your kids about. Some involve personal safety and you'll want to have that conversation with them more frequently. Others you may need to have less frequently, but repeat as your child's Internet usage habits change, for instance if they develop a greater interest in chat or online music forums. Each of these topics is covered in more depth within the Parents and/or Toolbox sections as well as the Teen section. A subset of these topics is covered, in an age appropriate way, within the kids section of the site, and you can use that to facilitate your conversation.
- Personal safety: One of the best ways to help protect your child's safety on the web is to protect their identity. While you want to encourage children to express themselves, make sure they know that doesn't include giving away their name, address, age, phone number and other personal information online. All of that can help criminals exploit them and commit fraud. Help your kids create a screen name that doesn't provide clues as to who they are, and make sure that their online profile is blank. Predators can use that information.
- Online Predators: Online predators understand kids and what they like. They engage them to create familiarity, build trust, then secrecy. Then they break down barriers and intimidate their victims. Just as you talked to them about stranger danger, talk to your kids regularly if they use things like chat rooms or IM. Respect their privacy but show interest in their activities and reinforce that you can't necessarily trust people you meet online.
- Computer Security: Many kids have assigned responsibilities (aka chores) around the house. Make it your child's job to help keep the computer secure. Explain what worms, viruses and spyware can do to your computer and how to tell if you've been infected (you can find out yourself in the Toolbox section). Make sure they understand good security behavior, how it's important not to open up attachments from people you don't know, not to respond to s pam, and to be careful not to provide information or click on links in s pam just because someone asks you to. And make sure that they understand not to change setting in the computer ' s control panel that impacts browser setters for security or privacy, anti-virus, anti-spyware or operating system updates, the firewall, and pop up blockers.
- Online Bullying: Just as we talk to our kids about how they behave in public, they need to understand that they are responsible for their actions on the Internet. 35% of kids have been bullied online, and 53% admit that they have done it to someone else. There is a good chance that your child is in one, or both, of these groups.
- Plagiarism and Intellectual Property: Kids use the Internet to do research and they use it to find music and learn about other entertainment they like. Some take that interest too far, perhaps plagiarizing content for term papers, downloading music and movies illegally. It's important to help them support their needs, that is the need to learn and explore our culture. It's also important to help them understand the value of doing their own work, and respecting the work and property rights of artists. One way is to help them learn effective search techniques, and another is to talk to them about their musical tastes, set limits on what they can spend, and show them how to do that from legal sites.
